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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Hulk Smash?

Don't make me horny. You wouldn't like me when I'm horny.


So halfway through the new Hulk movie it's revealed that Bruce Banner has an...um...incredible problem. He can't get it on, as becoming sexually excited causes his heart rate to go up and then he hulks-out. Ummm....

This creates an odd catch-22 as I bet being backed up makes him hulk-out more often. My girlfriend and I were doing the long-distance thing for a couple years and I used to regularly punch holes in the wall and throw tables around. Whenever I called her she was busy punching people in the face and flipping over cars.

I mean poor Banner can't even barricade himself in a room and help himself out without turning into a seven foot beast and crashing through the wall and stomping down the street. The reality of it
all probably makes Banner angry and then you know what happens when Banner gets angry....

I suggested to my girlfriend, who saw the movie with me (payback for making me see that Sex and the City bullshit, which I liked, but thought was some fantasy bullshit [1]) that Betty, Hulk's girl, should have just went ahead and got it on with the Hulk. It would be a valuable service to society and an interesting experience to share with friends or maybe she could have even turned it into a magazine piece for one of the women's magazines. I can see the headline: "Ten Secrets to Incredible Sex." But my girlfriend pointed out that there might be certain side-effects to having sex with the Hulk, that is, if he is truly incredible. Which I have doubts about because after he turns into a 10 foot, 1500 pound monster, his pants stay improbably intact.

If this guy Banner wants to live in society, once a week, he needs to go out to the country where there is no one else around and take care of his problem. It would save some property and, more importantly, some lives.


Superheros who can't have sex

Sex and the Single Superhero

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