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Monday, June 15, 2009

Monday Music: Um...Concerning Lil Wayne?

Back when I had dreadlocks I was told on at least two occasions that I looked like Lil Wayne. I was advised by women I knew that I should take that as an insult. I imagine that hastened the demise of the style in my life. Anyway, it didn't inspire me to keep them.

I thought of this when I came across what could possibly be the greatest Craigslist post of all time:

Here's the text of the ad if the picture's too small:

"My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately.

Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he grunts and mumbles a lot. I don’t care if you are 67 and Jewish if you can sing the songs you’re hired. Money is not an issue. Name your price. Interested individuals please let me know your rap experience, video of you performing as Lil Wayne would be better. If that is not feasible we can arrange for a live audition.

Serious inquiries only, this is very important to my family. Young Money Baby! "

So this kid must not only be blind, but least that's what his mother thinks (ok, the post never states whether this is the mother or father, but for sake of this post, it's his mother). So is everybody at the party supposed to just stand around a play along? I wish I could be at this shindig to hear the kid and his mother talk: 

Boy: Ma, it's amazing that you got Lil Wayne to do this party. I mean a guy sells three million   records and then he comes to perform at a birthday party in DC. What are the odds? Quite remarkable.

Mother: Uh, yeah, son. Lil' Wayne's quite the humanitarian. Stop thinking about it so much and just listen.

Boy: That's funny.

Mother: What?

Boy: He sounds so much better on the radio.

Mother: I think he has a cold.

Boy: Really? He's grunting and mumbling a lot and kind of sounds like a 67 year old Jewish man.

Mother: ....

10 years later:

Boy: Mom.

Mother: Yes, son.

Boy: Lil' Wayne was never at my party was he?

Mother: Of-Of Course he was...yeah...yeah...I hired him through a friend--

Boy: Are you going to go to your grave lying to me about this?

Mother: I-I would never lie to--

Boy: (in tears) No more lies Mom....I thought the lies ended with the Easter Bunny. This is why I've never been able to trust people. All my broken relationships and broken friendships....It can call be traced back to that Lil Wayne party...damn you Mom.

She should really hire this guy:

1 comment:

Abdel Shakur said...

The resemblance is uncanny!