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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Happy Birfday Datsun Flambe!

I'm in the middle of a pretty hectic Hell Week, that's the midterm and end of the semester when people throw papers at me and try to kill me with them and the only way to survive is by grading them.

But I'm not so busy that I can't acknowledge the third birfday of my beloved blog, Datsun Flambe. It began at 1:03 on May 12 2008 with a Pearls Before Swine strip asking why the world needed another blog. I hoped to answer that question. That seemed like so long ago.

George Bush was president and Obama's campaign had just started gaining momentum. I was unmarried. Unemployed. Childless with one niece. Still had my grandmother to lean on, but she was fading. The 101-year-old lion was sick, I just didn't know that in a few months we'd part. I had only traveled internationally to Trinidad and Canada. I was freshly graduated from an MFA program with a degree in fiction and excitement about a renewed Writing Life.

Barack Obama is president of the United States. Now I'm married. A college professor (excuse me, Lecturer) teaching composition. Got a son, two nieces and a nephew. I am Grandmotherless. Not as devastated by that fact as I was in the previous two years, but it still stings a lot sometimes. I've been to Europe (briefly) and Africa and South America. The MFA was still the best time in my life because everyone I was a around gave a fuck about fiction and I had brilliant people who were paid to give a fuck about my fiction and peers who were interested in what I was doing just as I was interested in what they were doing. Now, my excitement has dimmed. Not my passion. Just the excitement, because the Writing Life is hard in its cold indifference. That's not a complaint. More of an acceptance of the way things are. After all the pie-in-the sky dreaming, there is only hard work. I have less time to write than ever and with less time comes more ideas. It's a recipe for frustration and anger and dark nights of the soul and total losses of faith only to regain that faith somehow.

But there is the Flambe to keep my head in the game.

Well, the world doesn't need the Flambe. It mostly ignores my madman ravings. I lost interest in the Flambe and ignored her for months on end. Wasn't sure what to do with her. The internet has too many sad, abandoned blogs floating out there asking to be loved. I felt bad about abandoning my project and have now returned to it. I have a good sense what I want to do with it, just not a lot of time to do that thing I want to do with it. So I've been slowly, slowly tweaking it. Just wait for hell week to be over so I can devote more time to The Flambe.

I didn't mean for this to be a whole long post. Just a new tradition, a yearly acknowledgement accompanied by some Pearls craziness at 1:03 a.m. PEACE.

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